Leo Stillinger
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After participating in a protest in solidarity with Palestine, our speaker sips a ginger tea at Café Aunja. Inspired by the protest, Frank O’Hara, and the Sa’di they recently read in class, the speaker attempts to write a poem of their own that captures how they feel at this moment, “somehow pretending of something.”
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Still after three four weeks with this little
typewriter I never typed a poem but
thanks Frank O’Hara I’m typing one now
though I wonder if O’Hara’s very freedom, that off-the-
cuff patter might be too powerful a stimulant,
too empowering, as though a little typing
were all it took—but then what means that
“too” anyways, I mean what are we living for here
anyhow? As though a small minute’s joy in words
as I sit here with my ginger tea in the Persian
café might be too much, somehow pretending of
something—though maybe yes it is and maybe that’s
the joy and the point. In class we read Sa’di, chapter two,
story twenty-six. It was read aloud by many students in the original Persian
which perhaps led my feet here later, after the Palestine
protest outside the management building where a dozen men with Israeli flags
had set up a massive speaker blasting trap music dancing and even it seemed
(but here the poem could fall off its tracks into a gully of anger) gloating: a noise
that still could not drop eighty of us and a dream Viva
Viva Palestina and all the rest of the words in the snow turning
to rain and in the story a distracted man (“frenzied one”) takes off
at dawn from the caravan where everyone else is
just settling into sleep (they walked all through the night),
summoned as he was by the cry of a nightingale
(“bird’s lament”) he sets off and later the Persian word
for “frenzied one” was much discussed: frenzied, effervescent,
suffering, passion, lover, suffering, ecstatic, out-of-stasis, out, out,
out into the night, the noisy night of dawn: it is not becoming
to humanity that I should be silent when birds chant
Praises, the poet explains, then someone said Desire makes me
what I desire and I wonder if one or the other of these words
or strings of words might name the reason Frank writes at lunch
and I with ginger tea these strings of words of birds of beads desire makes me.
Leo Stillinger is a writer and filmmaker from Utah, based in Montreal. His first film, An Urban Wild, was screened at the Festival International de Film Éthnographique de Quebec (FIFEQ) in 2023. A regular newsletter of his photography, Postcards from a Dream, can be found at postcardsfromadream.substack.com. This poem was written in solidarity with Palestine.
Yolk acknowledges that our work in Tiohtià:ke/Montréal takes place on the unceded Indigenous lands of the Kanien’kehá:ka/Mohawk Nation. Kanien’kehá:ka is known as a gathering place for many First Nations, and we recognize the Kanien’kehá:ka as custodians of the lands on which we gather.